I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
