Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
