Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
