I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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