I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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