Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize