Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
