You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
