Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize