maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
FUCK WHALES
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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