that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
