All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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