I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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