you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize