If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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