And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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