Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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