Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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