He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
