By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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