She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
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