i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
nutella sex= disaster
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
