Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize