Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
