Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
