Have you finally orgasmed yet?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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