I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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