he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just forgot I was standing up.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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