Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
home. puking in laundry basket.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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