Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
