Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
