In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
cat food counts as protein by the way
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
