I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
