Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
