somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
