I wannas sexs uuuuu
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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