Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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