Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
