It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize