i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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