Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize