I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
