I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
