Screwed.edu
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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