I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Quick, to the slutcave!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
