i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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