so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
