i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize