Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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