I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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