thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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