Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
