I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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