There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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