Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
