He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
