he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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