like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
