Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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