Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
