adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
