i think my mom watched the whole time
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
