all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
