Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
