He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i love accidental penises.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
