hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
