I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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