I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We have so much sex to catch up on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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