Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
