I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
