So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
