i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
