Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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